a friend recently forwarded an email to me that lists 25 ways to tell you’re grown-up. some of them i could mildly relate to and some were so daggone dead-on that it had me crying for my youth. oh, boo-hoo…
not that i’m some old hag… i’m 33. okay, that was a lie, i just turned 34 earlier this month, but next year i’ll be 33 because i refuse to turn 35 and i’m going to start counting backwards from here on out.
anyhoo, here are the “ways” that were so on point:
1. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
why-oh-why is sleep sooooooooooo important when you get older?? i remember hanging out at this club in baltimore back in the day and that sucka didn’t close until 6 am!! wooooo!!! let’s get this party started!!! i’d go home and sleep for a couple hours and then it was on to the next adventure. i also remember being at the classics clubbing so late that they started serving breakfast.
i can’t do that anymore. my body just doesn’t cooperate.
2. you watch the weather channel.
oh, i watch the weather channel. cnn. catch the news at least twice a day. there was a time when i just flat out refused to watch the news. “it’s so depressing…” i’d say. there must be something about your 30’s that says, “i would like to know about every horrific thing that has happened not only in my town, but across the world before i start my day.”
3. your friends “marry” and “divorce” instead of “hook up” and “break up”
now this one is a bit tricky because half of my friends are married and half are single, but it does make me feel a little old when one of my friends tells me she’s coming up on her 10th anniversary and another is about to be on her second marriage. can you say, wow??
4. you go from 140 days of vacation to 14.
this has GOT to be the one that absolutely sux the most. this whole “sick leave” and “vacation time” thing sux. i mean, why can’t i get summer vacation?? i work a lot harder than a 3rd grader!
5. sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
now what is up with THAT?? it’s crazy. it’s like your bones and muscles are on their own time or something. you can feel as zippy and youthful as you wanna feel, but sleep on your couch one night. the truth will be told.
6. eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 am would severly upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
not that i’m up at 3 am, but whenever i’ve tried to eat something say ohhhhhhhh… around 12 am-ish it hasn’t been such a good thing.