a very interesting thing happened yesterday evening during dutch‘s football practice. i was gathering my things to leave, you know, folding my little chair (’cause it’s a must have if your child is in sports), telling my husband i’d see him when they got home because we drove separately, dug around in my purse for my keys, pulled them out and then…
i looked to find my husband scrambling on the ground and mumbling rather low, “oh God!!!!!” for a split second i wasn’t sure what was going on. was he trying to save me from a rabid skunk that was attempting to tear at my ankles and spray me with stankiness? did one of those massive dragonflies that seem to love swarming a little too close for my liking finally break into my personal space box? just what exactly was going on?
and then i noticed that he picked something up quickly from the ground and stuffed it rather aggressively into my purse.
it was this…
yep, a harmless ol’ pad aka sanitary napkin aka the thing that all men fear. well, most anyway.
i said to him, “geesh, it’s not like it’s used!!” okay, that was gross. but that’s what i said and he responded, “so?!?! nobody wants to see that!”
wait, was that embarrassment that i saw flash across his face? could it be that he was worried that the dad sitting next to me who we had become chummy with had actually witnessed the accidental drop of the pad?!
you would’ve thought that i mooned the entire ankle biter football league and their mamas.
get outta here! it’s a pad! i guarantee you that he would’ve never reacted that way to me dropping say…a diaper!
so what exactly is it with men that makes them totally cringe at unused pads and tampons? is it that they’re imagining them already soiled? i don’t get it, it’s just paper and plastic. i think.
okay, forget its contents. i have no clue what those things are made of, but you get where i’m going with this, right? pad and tampons are absolutely harmless, but men would rather forget their very existence. in fact, most men would prefer to never have to purchase them and i’m sure they look away quickly as if they’d turn to stone upon spotting one in the bathroom.
it’s kinda funny when you think about it. men. they love their shoot ’em up action and horror films. they watch boxers beat each other to a pulp. gut fish and stand over a vat hot grease to deep fry them. some shoot ducks and other harmless little animals. a large majority will roll around in funky mud during an outdoor game of paintball fighting or football. they get tatted up and branded all over their bodies…but pads? they’re the real kryptonite.