workouts will make her dizzy

so…new year, new body, right? even if you didn’t make the official resolution to lose weight or work out chances are being physically fit is on your mind. and if it ain’t on your mind it’s on your best girlfriend/coworker/mama/cousin/aunt’s mind. you or someone you know wants to lose this or tighten that. i know i do. not worrying about suckin’ in my tummy if i’m wearing a fitted shirt would be pretty nice and i’m sad to report that the days of eating what i want without exercising have long gone.

*enter cry here*

that doesn’t necessarily mean that i woke up at 6am on 1/1/13 to get my fitness on. nope, sure didn’t. it wasn’t until yesterday morning (on a tuesday no less, who starts ish on a tuesday?? niki does…) that i woke up with a huge “W” on my chest.

W” is for wonder woman in case you’re wondering.

i was finally ready to kick off this fitness routine and bang it on out. to be completely honest, i felt as if i had no choice. my sister does almost daily twitter check-ins with me and a few of her girlfriends asking how our workouts went and well, i beginning to feel a bit lame that i hadn’t even started. she sent me an email last week about these fitness chicks over at tone it up who have crafted a plan, called love your body, to be fit by valentine’s day. silly me, said, okay, i’ll do it!! and then i didn’t.

truthfully, after checking out the tone it up app/site my excitement waned a little. helloooooo, these girls are clearly a good decade (maybe a decade and a half) younger than me!

see what i mean? they look so good ’cause daggoneit, they’re supposed to, right?! give me someone who has experienced the dreaded metabolism slow down after 30, who’s had a kid or two…something. has nicole murphy released a workout video yet? that’s what i’m talking about.

but since i wasn’t doing anything to kick off this fitness thing myself, i figured, well, why not go with this thing she suggested? and who knows, those tone it up chicks could very well be over-30 mamas.

and so i started with the tone it up itty bitty bikini workout. it was the first thing i stumbled across on their app (which is not very user-friendly, in my opinion).

yoga mat

i locked my charlie pup up (’cause he always gets in the way during floor exercises like he’s my personal trainer or something), threw on a tee and some sweats, rolled out my mat, and for the next several minutes i cursed every cheeseburger/french fry/krispy kreme donut/chocolate-y thing/salt ‘n vinegar potato chip/tall glass of simply lemonade with raspberry/bowl of mac ‘n cheese and candied yams/slice of pizza/strawberry shortcake/strawberry daiquiri/strawberry milkshake/strawberry flavored now & later that EVER passed my freakin’ lips!!

i cursed it all.

i really wanted to cry long streams of hot, burning tears because that. ish. HURT!! it hurt so bad that once i was done i wanted to reward myself with two big ol’ scoops of haagen dazs coffee ice cream with extra whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles (’cause yes, i have all that here in my home) just to ease the pain, but i figured that would be…well, dumb. but i didn’t. i pulled my aching body up off of the floor and plotted my next move.

must’ve been because of that “W” on my chest.

i was pumped!! ready!! sore but ready!! i decided i’d hit the gym. yeah!!! walk (briskly!!) on the treadmill for two miles or more!! woohoooooo!!


okay, two miles is quite a distance. did you know that? you probably do. you’re probably the type that runs like 15 miles a day. well, i’m not talking to you. i’m talking to the person who is pretty sedentary. the one who, like me, counts scrubbing the tub, walking up the steps at home, strolling around target and even having sex as exercise. and it is, sorta, but it ain’t like getting on the treadmill.

i jumped on that sucka with my mp3 player plugged into my ears, music bumpin’ and my bottle of water right at hand. i started off slow. like, real slow, with my incline low. i’m a lightweight on the treadmill and i’m not afraid to admit it. then i bumped up the speed a couple notches, raised the incline. 20 minutes later i finally got to the one-mile mark.

i was tired and sweaty and looking a hot mess i’m sure but i was glad that i had made it that far. it was more than i did the day before so yaaaayyyyyyyyyy, me!!

i hear you sucking your teeth. whatever.

my doc said exercise for 20 minutes a day and i did. so yaaaayyyyyyyyyy me!

i punched in the cool down mode and started bringing it on home, but when i got off the treadmill i had this wobbly leg thing going on and i felt dizzy as all get out! you know the feeling you get after exiting a roller coaster ride? yep, it was pretty much like that.

thank goodness no one was in the gym at that time to witness the dizzy chick trying to make it over to a chair to get her bearings. or notice that even once the dizzy girl stood up she was still kinda…well, dizzy.

i don’t know exactly where that feeling came from…maybe the big ol’ cup of extra strong coffee i had just before? or perhaps my body was trippin’ like girrrrrrrllllll, you know we’re supposed to be home on the couch right now web surfin’ for jobs. or it could be an inner ear thing. i hear that causes dizziness. whatever it was, and i’ve been to the doctor recently so it’s not a blood issue, it wasn’t right so i’m thinking today i’ll be hitting the sidewalk.

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